Those who love George Burns, this is an amazing opportunity to read all the best funny quotes by George Burns in a single post.
1.
You forget to pull up your zipper, and finally, you forget to pull it all down.
-- George Burns
2.
Happiness? A fantastic cigar, a fantastic dinner, a great cigar, and also a fantastic woman -- a poor woman; it is dependent upon just how much enjoyment you can manage.
-- George Burns
3.
How to perish? I am reserved.
-- George Burns
4.
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
-- George Burns
5.
I can not afford to perish; I would lose a lot of income.
-- George Burns
6.
I check out the near future because that is where I will devote the remainder of my entire life.
-- George Burns
7.
In my age, I must continue to some thing.
-- George Burns
8.
I'd go out with women my age, however, there are not any women my age.
-- George Burns
9.
I am at the age now where only putting my cigar in its own holder is a joy.
-- George Burns
10.
I am extremely happy to be here. Let us face it, at my age I am extremely happy to become anywhere.
-- George Burns
1-1.
In case you ask what exactly is the single most crucial key to longevity, then I would need to express it's avoiding anxiety, anxiety, and anxiety. Of course if you did not ask mepersonally, I would still need to state this.
-- George Burns
1 2.
The difficulty is, I can not remember whether it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns
1 3.
Lovely humorous saying of a retired man!
Retirement at sixtyfive is foolish. Once I had been sixtyfive, I still had pimples.
-- George Burns
14.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
-- George Burns
1-5.
Too bad all of the men and women who understand just how to perform this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hairloss.
-- George Burns
16.
After I had been a boy, then the Dead Sea was only sick.
-- George Burns
17.
You know you are getting old once you stoop to tie your own shoelaces and wonder what else you might do as you are down there.
-- George Burns
18.
I can not know just why I flunked history. After I was a young child, there is therefore little .
-- George Burns
1 9.
In case you are a smoker, then then that Hilarious saying will probably soon be an superb answer.
If asked in his late 90s, when his physician knew he smoked, Burns said,"No... he is dead"
-- George Burns
20.
You can find two sorts of cruises -- joy and kiddies.
-- George Burns
2 1.
Smartness runs in my own loved ones. As soon as I went into school I had been so smart my teacher has been in my class for five decades.
-- George Burns
2-2.
Old age is if you re sent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to see.
-- George Burns
2 3.
Love is much like a backache; it will not appear on xrays, nevertheless, you realize that it's there.
-- George Burns
2 4.
In days past, the ideal pain killer was icehockey; it was not addictive, and it had been especially effective when you poured some whiskey within it.
-- George Burns
25.
I really like to sing, also that I really like to drink scotch.
-- George Burns
26.
By the time you are eighty years of age, you've heard every thing. You merely need to consider it.
-- George Burns
27.
The bridge is a game that divides the men from the boys. Additionally, it divides wives and husbands.
-- George Burns
28.
Do not remain in bed, until you can make money in bed.
-- George Burns
2-9.
Exactly what goes up has to fall. However there is a time when not all that's down can come up.
-- George Burns
